“You do not know the weight of this self you are carrying until you put it down.”

Fingering the delicate necklace my deceased brother gave me, I reflect on what it took to be able to wear this again. When you are heavy, everything fits differently, even shoes and jewelry…


Episode One: Liminality is the new black

First, cuz I gotta get this off my chest — if I hear “we are all in this together” one more time, I will rip off your mask and stomp on it.

No. We aren’t. We aren’t all in this together. There are…


What Women need to tell the Men who care about them.

So first, it sucks that gender and sexism is the thing that we have finally identified as the problem between us. The good news is that we have identified it. …


Still being a Badass

Dropping us off for swim practice as a kid, my mother would always say to us “Don’t get wet!”

She would make double sure to say this when it was raining. Because,…Moms.

At first, we thought it was pretty funny, kinda clever in a ‘Mom” way…


Photo by Leio McLaren (@leiomclaren) on Unsplash

There is no word in the English language for the opposite of loneliness.

The reason for this is because most people have not experienced it, and don’t know it exists. But I do.

Half my life ago I lost the person who had been by my side my whole life…


Photo by Jade on Unsplash

Recently I have noticed that my self-talk consists of a lot of “you can do this” statements, those and “C’mon. Just a little more.” I am convincing myself that this thing that I am doing, whether it is lifting a little more weight in the gym, or doing just a…


Reclaiming the Badass when it hurts

Photo by Zbysiu Rodak on Unsplash

As a personal reward for losing 75 pounds, I signed up for a Beginning Kayak course last Saturday morning.

I love the water and water sports. I grew up surfing and swimming and sailing. Kayaking has always looked like the best time, being out…


Or: The Return of the Badass

I used to know this girl who was amazing. She was smart and funny and wasn’t afraid of herself. Or anyone.

She was a fierce athlete who competed against herself, but was happy for others when they won or did their best. In college…


Apologies that Aren’t

Apologies in todays world are interesting things. I have watched our President never apologize, but instead lie about things he has said or done. I have watched Venture Capitalists who have blatantly harassed women sexually tell me they are “creeps” before telling me that are sorry, or tell me they…


A friend posted Chris Sacca’s medium article (blog post)?) on Facebook. In it Mr Sacca, a Silicon Valley venture capitalist, speaks to the alarming reports of gender inequality and sexual harassment being reported by “brave women in tech.” …

Mhaire Fraser

Curious troublemaker. Digital Nomad. Xennial who notices things. Believes in the end user, good research and Mentoring Programs. www.debutantegonewrong.com

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